What Level Is Your Relationship?
1. At which level do you operate most within your relationship? Where do you want to operate? How will that change your relationship?
Level 2 - I want to operate at level 3. I cannot see that doing anything but improve our marriage.
Relationship Deadlocks
Take a moment and think of a recent time when your partner requested something from you. How did you perceive the request? Did you perceive it in a Level One way – as a demand upon you? Did you perceive it in a Level Two way – assessing whether the request was fair or justified? Or did you perceive it in a Level Three way, where you seized upon the opportunity to put your partner’s needs first?
I perceived it in a level 3 way - something that Lizzie wanted, and I wanted to give to her freely.
What decision can you make now to avoid relationship deadlocks in the future?
Always approach requests from a level 3 perspective.
Role Models
1. Whose example influenced the way you live in a relationship? Did you deliberately decide to imitate this person, or did you follow the example unconsciously? What needs were you meeting by following this example? What kinds of relationships did your role model have? Were they Level One, Two or Three relationships?
My parents. I followed their example unconsciously. This satisfied my need for certainty. My parents had a level 2/3 relationship. They were always loving and supported each other.
2. How has your role model affected your relationships? How has their example helped you? How has it created limitations?
It has given me high expectations as to the strength of my relationships. It limited me by showing specific roles within a marriage for the husband and the wife.
3. What beliefs do you hold about what a relationship should be or shouldn’t be? Are there ways you have protected yourself or held back from your intimate partner as a result?
It should be exclusive. It should be all out. The work should not mingle with the marriage. This has held me back from being truly open.
Questions to Explore Your Life
1. How do you practice Master Skill 2: Give Your Partner What They Really Need? What do you think your partner really needs? How can you give it to them?
She needs to know that she can spend freely without my knee jerk controlling tone. She needs more intimacy.
2. In the audio, Tony says, “If things are going to get better, you have to speak the unspoken.” What’s going unspoken in your relationship now?
Money, Sex, Future plans
3. Are there needs you attempt to meet outside of the relationship? Which ones? How do you think this affects your relationship?
All of them - badly
Day 5: Action Plan
1. At what level are you playing in your relationship? Why are you there? What’s the consequence of playing at that level?
Level 2 - I thought it was level 3 but now I know. It has limited our relationship.
2. Where is your partner playing? Why do you think that?
Same - doesn't feel like level 3 or 1
3. What could you do to jump this relationship to a new level? What could you share with your partner from your soul?
All of the above!
No comments:
Post a Comment