DAY 3 – BACK FROM THE EDGE: CREATING EVERLASTING LOVE

 Explore Jenn and Paul’s Intervention

1. What needs do you think Jenn and Paul were not meeting for each other before the intervention? From what you know about their relationship after the intervention, how do you think they are meeting those needs now?

Jenn was not meeting Paul's need for significance. Paul was not meeting Jenn's need for connection.

2. What needs do you think Paul valued most at the start of the intervention? Why do you think this caused friction in their relationship? What about for Jenn? What were her most valued needs? How did they affect the relationship?

He valued significance.  She valued love.

Questions to Explore Your Life

1.  How well do you think you are meeting your partner’s needs? How do you think you could meet their needs at a higher level right now?

Certainty - 8

Variety - 7

Significance - 5

Love/Connection - 7

Growth - 5

Contribution - 5

The biggest thing I need to be is present  and open.

2. What are a few things that you enjoy – ones that make you feel loved? How do you think your partner would answer that question, for you and for themselves? Ask them and compare notes. You might be surprised at the result!

Being cared for physically.

Rank your partner’s 6 Human Needs, in order of importance.  Score how well you have been meeting their needs.

1.  Certainty - 8

2. Love/Connection - 6

3. Significance - 6

4. Uncertainty/Variety - 5

5. Growth - 5

6. Contribution - 5

Choose your partner’s two most important needs. Brainstorm three specific ways you could meet each need for your partner.

Need #1:Certainty

1. Communicate my movements
2. Be consistent in my actions and emotions.
3. Have a plan to keep things moving on a certain path.

Need #2: Love/Connection 

1. Keep in contact.
2. Pay attention.
3. Connect physically and emotionally.

Understanding Your Needs

Rank your 6 Human Needs, in order of importance. - How well have they been met

1. Significance - 5
2. Certainty - 8
3. Love/Connection - 7
4. Growth - 5
5. Contribution - 4
6. Uncertainty/Variety - 5

Need #1: Significance

1. Be interested in me and my work,
2. Stay away from phones when we're together,
3. Pay me physical attention.

Need #2: Certainty

1. Stick to plans.
2. Have a routine
3. Be part of out plans.

Think of your top two needs. What would change in your life if one of them changed?

If one of my top two needs was the same as one of Lizzie's, we would be more aligned.

Discuss with Your Partner

1.Ask your partner how they would like to have their needs met.

2.What you would appreciate from your partner?