1.Look back to the exercise you completed in Day 3. What are your top two driving Human Needs?
Significance and Certainty
2. How do you meet these needs in:
Positive Ways | Negative Ways |
| Planning Being of Service Being Outstanding Having routines Social Media Being there for people | Scoring Points off people Gossiping Being reluctant to try/buy new things Social Media Doing things for the effect |
3. What positive vehicles could you use to replace the negative ways that you currently meet these needs?
- Supporting people
- Keeping my trap shut
- Being open to new things - there is nothing so certain as change :)
- Limiting social media to words of support and entertainment.
- Letting virtue be its own reward.
In what ways do they consistently meet those needs in:
Positive Ways | Negative Ways |
| Keeping in contact with people Having a routine | Not trying new things outside her comfort zone. Making phone chat her primary goal. Social Media sharing |
The Crazy Eight
1. If you had a crazy eight emotional pattern, what would it be (e.g., anger/helplessness, being controlling/withdrawing, trust/distrust)?
anger/helplessness
2. Tahnee’s crazy eight revolved around the issue of trust – a necessary part of a relationship that she had not been able to create. What is your crazy eight about?
People not behaving the way I want them to.
3. Does your partner have a crazy eight? What is that about? What is your partner struggling with? What do they need?
Not sure
The 2 Types of Problems
1. What are some problems that have been a regular challenge for you?
Finance and Abundance. Lack of Career progression
2. What are the risks associated with this problem? What if you succeed? What if you fail?
There is really no risk involved. We are financially secure, and lack of career advancement will not stop this.
3, Does having this problem meet any of your 6 Human Needs? Which ones?
Significance(!)
4. Is this a self-imposed safe problem or a quality problem? If it’s a safe problem, can you think of an underlying quality problem that it’s related to? What can you do about it?
They are both safe problems. The quality problem is to teach me to be unaffected by others opinion (need for significance), and to be more open with Lizzie and to accept her ideas on money and abundance.
5. Now consider your problem from this point of view. If you were to completely annihilate the safe problem from your life, how could you step up? How could you raise your standards? What would you do? How is this an opportunity to take your life and your relationship to a whole new level?
I would be a man operating at his own extremely high standards, regardless of the appearance to others. I would live in abundance, and be happy to communicate that with loved ones.
Questions to Explore Your Life
1. How do you express heartfelt understanding to your partner?
Eye contact, being present, 'taking it on'.
2. Can you think of an example of how you could improve your practice of the first Discipline of Love: Put Your Lover First?
TV! Watch whatever she wants to watch! Be open to whatever she wants/needs. Make it possible, rather than being the handbrake.
Day 4: Action Plan
1. In the chart below, write down the frequent, predominant emotions you experience during the course of a week. Embolden the top two of each – the ones you experience most profoundly or most often.
Disempowering Emotions | Empowering Emotions |
| Fear Upset Frustration Jealousy Judgement Hopelessness Torpor | Joy Happiness Pride Satisfaction Hopefulness |
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