ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP PROGRAM - DAY 1 - Lovers for Life: The Path of Lasting Passion

 SO...We've been married for 25 years, but I'm doing this solo.  Seems strange, but I really think that before anything, I need to really put my house in order as a husband, before I start looking at our marriage.   How much can change? I don't know, but 90 days to make things better is equal to 1% of the time that Lizzie and I have been together.  Our marriage is an excellent one, but why not make it better?

DAY 1:Action Plan

1. What is your ultimate vision for your intimate relationship? What do you want to create, give, have, share and become in this area of your life? What is your compelling vision for love, intimacy, passion, connection and fun? Describe the relationship, not a specific partner.

My ultimate vision of my intimate relationship is one where we thrive together and separately, where we're each other's no. 1 supporter and fan. I want to create a space of growing intimacy, where we both put each other first.  We rejoice in each others company, and each others physical touch.  Our life together is a great adventure where we just don't want it to end.

2. Which of the 6 Positions of Relationships are you in right now?

 2 - we are both loving and affectionate, but there is little passion

3.If you are in a relationship, which position is your partner in? Why do you think so? What have you felt or observed?

2 - because she likes to do things with me, but has very little enthusiasm for sex or physical intimacy

4. What has been preventing you from taking your relationship to the next level? What beliefs, behavior patterns or emotions have held you back from taking the next step?

Fear of rejection, that it will create disharmony.  The belief that it's all just a product of age.  Fear of a bad reaction if I raise it.

5. What would it take to change it all? What fears, beliefs or past memories can you transform to go to the next level? What do you need to do now to create the relationship you desire and deserve?

I need to be the lover that I want my partner to be.  I will dismiss all of society's ideas regarding age.  I simply need to start now.

POWERTALK: The Power of Expanded Identity

This was a bonus session at the end of Ultimate Edge.

1. Define who you are.

I am a  father, a husband, a lover, a friend, a colleague, a peer, a mentor, a leader, a trader, a creator, a performer, a connector, and a manifestor.  

I am strong, flexible, compassionate, enthusiastic,  energetic, loving, friendly,  integrated, visionary, disciplined, relaxed, abundant, present and connected.

2. Expand that view

 To be honest, as I copied me list into the about question, I started adding new things. So 1 is 2

3. Do, feel, see and act as that expanded person.

4. Make sure that you have a plan to do what that person WOULD do.

5. Make sure that you get everyone else to hold you to that new standard as well.

INNER STRENGTH – THE FINAL DAY – YOUR PERSONAL BLUEPRINT

 1). What makes me happy?

Exercising, entertaining, playing music, making love, socialising, learning, teaching, planning, organising, cooperating,  being financially free, 

2).  Why does it make me happy?

It's all about connection, or the having wherewithal to connect.

3) What makes me unhappy?

The unhappiness of others, lack of progress, being judged or underestimated, being lonely.

4).  Whys does it make me unhappy?

There's a disconnect, or I feel that I'm not growing.

2.  What is Life ultimately about for me?

Life is about connecting, serving, and growing.

3.  What has to happen for life to be that way?

I need to be amongst people, helping to satisfy their needs, and learning and developing  in the process.

4.  Which one of the six human needs am I making the most important in my life?

Connection 1, Significance 2, Growth 3

I need to know how to work both in isolation and in a team.

5.  Is this the best blueprint that I can come up with?

Yes

6. With all that I know about life, what would be the most important needs to value?

Growth and Service.  They will provide me with all of the other needs in abundance, without a driving desire for them.

7.  What's most important in life and how will I get there?

See above!

GET THE EDGE – DAY 7– THE PURPOSE OF LIFE: FINDING YOUR REAL INNER DRIVE

 Step 1: Remember what you wanted to be when you “grew up,” and remember the times when you felt like you were really on a roll.

With your eyes closed, remember when you were five, six, seven years old. What did you want to be when you grew up? Why did you want to be that? What feeling did you hope it would give you?

1. I wanted to be a policeman. I wanted to help and protect people.  I wanted to feel good about being helpful to people.
2. I wanted to be a clergyman.  I wanted to guide people, and help to give them purpose.  I wanted to feel that I was helping them.
3. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to thrill and motivate young people to be the best that they could be.  I wanted to feel significant.

Now, with your eyes closed again, think about a time when you were really on a roll, where things flowed effortlessly. What were you doing, feeling, experiencing?

1. I was writing the music for "Jump Sugar Jump", and the music just flowed out of me.  I was connected with people in a project.
2. I was singing and playing at Soup Plus.  I was completely connected with the audience.
3. I was running a band camp with Leichhardt PS Band.  We ALL had a blast.

Step 2: Write your purpose.
Write a simple phrase, a sentence or two. It doesn’t have to be perfect the first time.

The purpose of my life is to have fun, to connect, and to serve.

I can live my purpose even more by reminding myself of my purpose in every possible moment.

GET THE EDGE – DAY 6– YOUR WAY TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM – THE POWER OF COMPOUNDING

 Decide, deduct and dare to dream!

Step 1:

Decide how you’re going to allocate your assets. Determine the percentage of your income that you will invest, and determine how you will split it between security and growth.

I’m going to invest 5% of my income.

I’m going to split my investments in this ratio (for example, 50/50 or 60/40): Security bucket: 100%
Growth bucket: 0%

Step 2:

Make it a must for you. Write a paragraph or two about why you must be wealthy and what it will do for you, your family and your future. What will it give you? Who will you be? What will you do with your wealth?

If I have wealth, then I will only do the things that artistically satisfy me, that I feel serve me and the world.  I will have more resources to help people. My wealth will let Lizzie retire whenever she wants, and Dot will be free to do what she wants. It will allow us to have experiences beyond compare. I will be a changer of lives. I

Step 3:

Start making your plan. Write down the steps you must take to begin or improve your investing strategy.

• Decide on my levels of wealth (25x annual income)
• $1.6M
• $2.4M
• $3.6M
• Find extra sources of income:
• Acting
• Hosting
• Composing
• Online business
• Teaching
• Comedy
• Trading
• Make steps towards these incomes.

Step 4:

Never leave the scene of a decision without taking some action. Choose two of the items you listed in Step 3 and do them today. Make a note of what you did:

Sent potential scripts to Zoe.

Wrote a backing track on GBand

GET THE EDGE – DAY 5– THE POWER OF EMOTIONS – YOUR CALL TO ACTION

 Let’s start using the 6 Steps and the 10 Action Signals we’ve learned in this session.

Step 1: For the next two days, notice any negative or disempowering feelings that come up and go through the 6 Steps. Record your progress below.

Negative emotion: How I handled it

I was frustrated by the lack of progress in a number of things at work.  Using the steps I:

1. Identified the emotion of frustration.
2. Clarified that the emotion is trying to tell me that there are certain things over which I have no control.  I need to change from "they don't care" to "They are overwhelmed".
3. I really want to feel that this gives me the opportunity to do some independent work readying me for when they are ready to help.
4. Remembered the times that I HAVEN'T been attached to one particular thing, and how that has made me MORE productive.
5. I can handle this emotion by letting go, and moving on.
6. I took action by owning the feeling, and moving on.

Negative emotion: How I handled it:

    

Negative emotion: How I handled it:

 

Step 2: Make a list of all the things you can do to make yourself feel good.

• Exercise
• Meditate
• Make contact with someone that I love
• Cook
• Listen to Music
• Eat something that I enjoy
• Read
• Have a bath!
• Give thanks
• Chat with an animal.
• Take a heart based breath

Step 3: For each of the 10 Action Signals you learned in this session, develop a new belief that will help you avoid getting stuck in these emotions.

Disempowering Emotion Examples: Overwhelm Disappointment	My New Belief “This too shall pass” or “The best is yet to come.” There’s always a way if I’m committed.
1. Uncomfortable	This means that I'm growing!
2. Fear	Big progress is on the other side.
3. Hurt	They are doing the best they can with what they have
4. Anger	This has broken my rules
5. Frustration	There's a time for everything
6. Disappointment	I haven't yet seen the purpose in this result. Everything happens for me!
7. Guilt and regret	Forgive yourself, and move foreward
8. Inadequacy	I am enough. I'll never be given more than I can handle
9. Overloaded, overwhelm, hopelessness, depression	Just one thing at a time - it's a cinch by the inch!
10. Loneliness	I am never truly alone.

GET THE EDGE – DAY 4 – PURE ENERGY LIVE! THE KEY TO A STRONG, HEALTHY & VITAL LIFE

I must admit, this particular day really resonated with me the first time I heard it.  I have aimed to keep alkaline in my diet, always eating at least twice the amount of protein in vegetables.  The effect of emotions was a good reminder though

 Step 2: Interrupt destructive patterns that don’t serve you.

Write down at least three destructive patterns in which you’ve been engaging. Come up with one

or two ways to interrupt each pattern the next time it arises.

Destructive Pattern Example: I often get angry.	Pattern Interrupts When I begin to feel angry, I will take five deep breaths and list at least three things I’m grateful for in my life.
I get worried about money	When I get worried, I will remind myself of three sources of money to which I have access.
	Breathe! One breath at a time.
I get frustrated with the people who manage me.	I ask myself "how can I grow through this.
	I say "this is not happening to me, it's happening for me
	Breathe! One breath at a time.
I get impatient with my progress	I remind myself that everything has so far happened at the right time.
	Breathe! One breath at a time.

Step 3: Provide your body with its vital needs.

Write a paragraph or two describing why you are now committed to providing your body with the things it needs. What will it give you? What has not doing this up until now caused you to miss out on or lose in your life?

I am committed to provide my body with what it needs, because I know that when I do I am much happier, healthier and more energetic.  Sometimes I have strayed off track, especially putting things off for tomorrow, which never comes. NOW is the time to act and get the result.

It has always been the instantaneous actions that have provided me with the best results.